what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
BRING THE BAGELS
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
