Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
