Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Randomize
