this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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