College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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