i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
