I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You need Xanax blowdarts
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize