You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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