The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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