Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
