he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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