you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
