I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
