I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
