singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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