I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
The power of my boobs compel you
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
