porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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