As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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