After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I FOUND THE LEGS
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
