You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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