Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
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