Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
