So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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