Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i was born a porn star she said
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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