I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
