Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
