Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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