I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
