you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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