if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
