the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize