never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
