An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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