just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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