Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Randomize
