So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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