Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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