I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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