I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I pour the whiskey from now on
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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