Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
