I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
