Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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