I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
