Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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