Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
