she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
sarcasm needs its own font
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize