Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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