Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
