I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
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