I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
