Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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