He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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