I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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