He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
