dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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