yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
