when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
