We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
