This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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