So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
