We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Naked. naked and bneed help.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
