I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
