The maid of honor just puked.
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
