Who wears a wallet chain?!
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
